Sunday, May 4, 2008

'The Man' Tales - Mom Comes to the Rescue

From then on my mother came every day after she finished work. She sat with me while I ate my supper and walked with me up and down the hallway. Sometimes we hardly spoke and she would wrap my arm in hers like she was escorting me to a ball, and we would walk. She would hold my hand or pat it to keep me from wringing them. I was so anxious that I couldn’t sit still and seeing her always scared me. I was afraid that she would launch into her lifetime habit of attacking me. But she didn’t.

She brought me new clothes to help compensate with the 60 pounds I had gained. With great gentleness she tried to get me to make myself look better. She would take me into the bathroom and soap up a wet facecloth and help me wash my face. She would encourage me to take a shower and brought lovely smelling soap so I would feel better about it all. Then we would sit on the bed and she would brush my hair while she relayed incidents from the store that she thought would make me smile through my tears.

During supper she would talk to me about good food I should be ordering when the menu came in the mornings. She never told me I was fat or that I should try to diet, she just gently suggested some ideas.

On the weekends I was allowed to go home more often and D or Cid would come and get me. The first time my mother took me home I was beside myself with anxiety. But she talked calmly to me to help me quiet down and suggested I take a pill for anxiety. When we walked up to the front door of the barn I almost flew into D’s arms for protection. Mom stood looking at D and at me as I cried and cowered behind him. She gently patted my arm and told me I would be okay and she wished me an enjoyable weekend. She phoned the next day to make sure I was all right and D asked me if I wanted to speak to her or not. When I reluctantly took the phone, I listened to my mother tell me I was going to be okay while I sobbed.

D finished his schooling and got a job in the little town where we lived. The pay wasn’t that good, but he was happy to be working and in a place where he could walk to work. By this time I had not worked for over 6 months and I never gave a thought about how the mortgage or utilities were being paid. Cid had come to the rescue with my car payments and my credit cards. I had been smart enough to pay for the extra cost of insurance in case of illness, and Cid took it upon himself to get in touch with everyone he could think of and those bills were paid off.

One weekend Mom came into town from her farm and sat with D and asked him about the mortgage and other bills. He told her he had maxed out his credit cards trying to keep up with everything. Mom asked for all the bills and D handed them over to her. She wrote several checks and made sure the mortgage was getting paid so I would not lose my house. They spent most of the afternoon together working on bills while I cowered on the couch and cried. I had no idea what D had done while I was hospitalized and I didn’t understand about bills and mortgages at this point. But they had saved my house for me and when I finally realized it I was shocked and very grateful.

25 comments:

Daryl said...

I feel as you did .. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop .. I sure hope I am waiting in vain...

:-Daryl

travelling, but not in love said...

Wow, it seems like she finally came through for you.... It seems that way, anyway. Knowing you though, Aims, I'm sure there's a twist just around the corner...

softinthehead said...

At last she is finally there when you need her. It seems like your mother must have taken a long look at herself and your relationship - I hope it remains that healthy today.

Mima said...

I'm so glad that you finally caught a break even if it took you a while to be well enough to realise it, and D - what a guy - to take on all of that and hold it together - just shows what an amazing man he is. I really hope that things get sorted with your Mum, it is possible to move past things, but boy it takes some hard work.

Amy said...

Wow. It must have been very hard for you to trust your mom. As ever, I'm looking forward to the next installment.

merry weather said...

I'm so glad she was able to do this - a big step forward for both of you. Hope she continued being so loving after this time.

Unknown said...

Your mom, well it just makes me cry. I'm so happy she was so supportive now.

Carolyn said...

I second what daryl said. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hope I don't hear the clunk.

Thanks for writing this. It's such a compelling story. I really appreciate you!

I Beatrice said...

It's hard to believe that anyone who had been so awful as your mother had been could turn right round so quickly to become the perfect mother! But whatever its cause - and whether it lasted or not - she was exactly what you needed at that time in your life.

And those two men - words fail me in commenting on their unstinting love and generosity! You had so very much going for you by then Aims - I can't believe there can be any more nasty little twists around the corner!

Stinking Billy said...

aims, baby, way to go!

Georgina said...

Aims, I'm glad your Mum came good for you in the end. You had some amazing people around you in your hour of need. They say you get out of life what you put in and I'm sure you've put lots in. Debs x

Breezy said...

I'm stunned at how your mother came through for you and like most of the others here waiting a little bit for the sting in the tail

Maggie May said...

I am glad things are picking up in this story but I'm a bit like you expecting your mum to turn at any moment to the person she used to be.

Thanks for enquiring about SIL. He has recovered from op with only a few visual problems. We have no results from tests yet so don't know what we're dealing with. Daughter coping fine as he's still in hospital.

Cath said...

You had terrific support when you needed it.
Time over again and I bet they would do it all again.
I am riveted to your story but admit to taking my time in coming over to ensure I am strong enough to read it. God alone knows how you lived it or can retell it. You are helping us you know. We know there is life after illness, whatever it is.
Thanks for all your comments and support at mine. I do appreciate it.

John-Michael said...

I just forced my Self (through sheer will-power) to recognize the "she is telling what was THEN ... and this is NOW" factor to my Heart's surface. Else I couldn't bear this burden of caring sadness and agony for You. your telling of your story is magically done, and I am moved to highest admiration for your skills in this venture (now that I have 'adjusted' my perspective.)

You have all of my Love!

Biddie said...

I am so glad that your mom came through for you.
I have missed so much, but I will try to catch up. :)

Lane Mathias said...

I've had not so nice thoughts about your mother up until now but whatever the past, she came through for you then, just in time and with practical support. I'm so glad about that.
And D and Cyd were amazing. Nothing less.

Joy T. said...

Wow! Never could I trust so easily again. But then again, I have issues :o) So nice to hear your gorgeous big blue barn was saved. Can you even IMAGINE losing such a treasure?!

bichonpawz said...

I'm amazed. You are an amazing woman, aims. A strong woman. I'll keep reading and I sure hope that your mom maintains her support.

Moonroot said...

What an amazing story, so beautifully told. I have been captivated reading each instalment. Thank you for writing it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Aims, I'm so glad you had support to keep your home. It must've been so easy for these practical things get overlooked when everyone was dealing with your illness. It was/is your haven so I am glad it was saved for you.

Like others have said, I wonder how long your mother was contrite and whether she wrote cheques as guilt money. I hope I am wrong.

Irene said...

You know, I was reading this and I was forgetting to breathe. That's how much this holds me in its grip. That mother of yours! Man! I am waiting for her to do something awful. To forget herself and do something awful. It hurts just to write that down. I wish you so much luck.

I know, it has already happened.

Swearing Mother said...

I'm with Irene, held my breath all the way through that (well, almost). Do hope everything is getting sorted out for you Aims.

aims said...

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I will of course be revealing more about Mom in upcoming posts.

Anonymous said...

It is so great that when you needed people at such a bad time you had the 2 men in your life and eventually your mom too. What person doesn't want their mom when the going is rough, and even though you couldn't trust her, she was still being there for you.