You know - at one time I honestly thought I'd never live long enough to see the end of 2013.
When I was young I swore I'd never live this long. I thought I had some strange weird disease that was going to kill me off before this year - turns out I'm a Celiac, and I control that via my diet. Otherwise I would be dead according to a doctor back in 1992. He gave me a 70% chance of survival back then.
But this year - this one was an extremely tough one for me. But I've overcome nearly most of what ails me do to wonderful surgeons and wonderful friends and loved ones and I am humbled because of them.
The New Year has rung in already for some of my loved ones.
First off in New Zealand for my dearest of dear ones. Michelle/Mickle's Pickle - who has gone through her own incredible journey - battling breast cancer alone and coming out the other side looking incredible gorgeous and like a warrior to me. When my own journey got very hard I thought of my Mickle who faced her days with determination and just got on with it - and she gave me the strength to get on with mine then, no matter how hard it might be.
Also in New Zealand is Fiona who is also battling her own new journey on her own. You go girl! I know you can. (sorry girl - I can't find a link to you!)
Over in the UK. is my dear friend Karen who rocks my world on almost a daily basis with our jewelry making attempts! She too has encouraged me to 'get on' and her 'poor luvvie's' have helped no end when I just felt I couldn't go any farther! Her world has turned into 2014 as well by now........
Hard to believe for me. I truly never thought I'd see it!
This past year I swore would be my last when I lost the ability to walk due to a cyst in my spinal column. The pain was so bad that I threatened the doctors that I would end my life if they wouldn't do anything. Even that wasn't enough to move them. I wasn't scheduled to see a neurosurgeon until August of 2014! I was in a wheelchair by this time and I finally parked myself in an Emergency and told them I wasn't moving until they did something.
I tell you - it's time to take your own health into your own hands and insist that they do something about it. I told the doctor who was 'looking after me in emergency' to quit being a doctor and look at me like I was her sister - well okay her Mother or okay - her Grandmother then - (she was really young) - and did she want her 'whatever' to be in this much pain and would she be willing to send her home knowing she would continue to suffer and only get worse? I dug in my heels and refused to move without seeing a neurosurgeon. Unfortunately it wasn't at a hospital that had any on staff but that didn't matter to me, my plan had been just to get admitted to any hospital at all.
So they shipped me off for Xrays and upstairs to a bed and after that it was a matter of contacting the neurosurgeons. Then when a doctor would come into the room and introduce himself/herself - I always asked for their first names and then I always talked to them on a first name basis. That way it made for an even playing ground and I wouldn't let them intimidate me or over-talk me. I made them talk to me in layman's terms so that I could understand everything. I also told them if I agreed with what they were doing or not as I had already been through so many trials and errors I felt it was useless going through the same stuff again and again and it wasn't until they noticed that my kidneys were failing and had been for some time (my ankles and knees were HUGE!) that they whisked me off to the hospital with the neurosurgeons and into surgery!
Now I am recovering from that emergency surgery that happened 3 days before my birthday so I got the gift of walking on my birthday! Best birthday present ever!!
Of course when I was sent home I immediately forgot the doctor's orders of no bending, twisting, or lifting and did it all at once without thinking. Now according to my doctors I have put my back into the place it was before the surgery and they won't know if I will need to have the same thing done again until I see them in clinic in February. Bah! That's what anti-inflammitories are for aren't they! And isn't that what everyone does? They immediately forget and do exactly what they aren't supposed to do? It's an automatic response when something falls right beside you that you especially don't want falling! Oh well! Onwards and upwards!
At least I can walk. I am more than grateful to those skillful hands of that wonderful young surgeon! He even apologized profusely for nicking my spinal cord - but the only thing that has changed is my sense of smell. It has only increased 100%, and believe me - that's not a good thing. Especially in a hospital!
Thankfully all the surgery is behind me now and I have good drugs to maintain me through the healing process. Like everywhere the problem is the lack of doctors. Our healthcare system needs more doctors. It's a terrible shame that the love of money draws a good doctor away from places that are in such desperate need of them. Yet we look at the places they go to where they become multimillionaires, and their healthcare system is horrifying! I would be bankrupt if I lived in the United States! And I just feel so sorry for them for all the upheaval and tumult that the country is going through over their healthcare. Baby steps, and growing pains. Nobody likes change. Especially when it is brought about by someone else. It's too bad, our system works fairly well and mostly we are very happy with it, we just need more doctors and less politicians who like to poke their fingers in without scrubbing up first.
Healthcare the world-wide is in desperate need of more doctors and more care-givers. I was blessed with some of the finest doctors and nurses I have ever had look after me for the three weeks I was in the hospital(s). Even on the days I did not want to get out of that bed and go have a shower - the one little nurse who kept at me would later wrap me in towels and dry my hair and then comb it out and put it in a little pony tail and then fuss over me like I was a little girl. Her patience and kindness amazed me! All of them did! I know it's hard to be a care-giver day in and day out and on the neurosurgery unit I think my heart would be breaking all the time. And they did it with smiles on their faces no matter what time of the day they were working. Bless them!
Now - here it is, almost 6am on New Year's Day and I am yammering away like Lucy Goosey! As the cyst grew in my spine I lost the ability to find the words I needed to speak with or to type with, so now that I have that back again I am almost like a kid with a new toy sometimes - you can't shut me up!
That may be a good thing. I have vowed (once again I know) to take up The Wailings to those of you who know I have been writing it all these years, and to seriously make an effort this year and to finish it. With that in mind I hope to put a bit of my writing here in this blog for you. As I recall, and quite vividly, as that is what stopped me in the first place, I was at the place where The Beater had come into my life and I was trying to put into words the relationship and the beatings that took place. At the time of my writing back then it was impossible for me to do that. I'm hoping now that with my new back - and OH YES - I DO blame (The Beater) my back on him - not completely - but I do blame him so much for the damage to my back! But now that I have a new one - I'm hoping that I can now write about the damage he did to it!
What say you? Do you think I shall overcome? I do! I know I am far stronger than that Lilly-livered thing of my past!
Oh yes! I've got my words back!
And welcome 2014! I think you and I have a date for destiny!