Abuse Comes in Many Guises

I know it may sound odd to some of you people who have come to know me as that 'nice aims' who writes about surviving a life of abuse and mental illness and about New Orleans - but I have another side to me that few of you will ever get to know and probably for a good reason.

Most people aren't going to get the chance to get on my wrong side. Those who have crossed the line with me have experienced what happens and those who haven't - well - if you want to remain on the other side ......

So let me get this out there. Because right now I have to.

Having been abused for far too long in my life - and for suffering mentally because of it - I now have a cut-off point. I can smile and smile for a long time - taking it on the chin as they say - taking it and putting it away for a rainy day. Then one day - and you never know when that day is going to happen - but one day I'm not going to take it anymore. Once I reach that point - then we're done as friends. Very rarely - and I do mean very rarely - do I acquiesce and take up the friendship again. In fact to do so I need plenty of proof that the line isn't going to be forced ever again if I am even going to consider doing so.

Now - people like me - well - we have this arrow over our heads that says - "kick here for much fun". For some reason - there are some people out there that see beneath the smile and see a form of weakness that they like to take advantage of and abuse. They like to think that they have reasons to do so - and that they are going to get away with it - because I hide what I am thinking behind a smile for a long time. I'll even let you get a few kicks in because I'm just like that. I do have that little weak area that is susceptible and like the weakling on the beach it is easy to kick sand in my face.

However - I'm only going to eat sand for so long from so many and then it's game over. I'm not playing anymore.

For those of you out there who think people like me are fun to bully around or even push around - watch out. We're not so fun on the flip side. We're not fun at all.

And once you cross the line with me - believe me - it's no-man's land.

Think about your actions before you take them. Some of us are tired of the abuse - the misuse - the taking for granted - for the uncaring attitudes. Some of us just aren't going to play anymore. And it's your loss - not mine.

A Small Redirection

Before I head off once more to the land of white-water rafting - I wanted to tell you that I have posted once more over at Big Blue Barn Knits.
I am hoping that I can post some pics

over there of what I am currently working on and eventually resurrect my Etsy shop once more. Notice that I say - eventually.

Have a look and have a great weekend. Hope it's sunny and warm wherever you are.

(pics are of my brother's pottery - and my jewellry)

A Day Off = A Post

I’m back from white-water rafting for a bit so I thought I’d write a post and finish off my review of our holiday in New Orleans.

I don’t know how many of you who read this are like me – but I use my experiences to help me live in the present. I often reminisce about my holidays throughout the day to help me get through stressful times. Our trip to New Orleans still brings me much pleasure and many smiles when it’s snowing in July in Alberta or some such thing (or you’re dealing with broken toes).

Leaving New Orleans was incredibly hard for me. As our days wound down to the last few I started to panic once more. I came up with many variations on how I could remain in New Orleans while The Man went home to work – perhaps flying down to visit once in a while. He didn’t cotton to that at all no matter how many ideas I came up with.

During our last day we did some obligatory shopping – food for traveling – things I saw and never bought – you know how that works. We ended up standing in the grocery store and talking to the security guard while it poured buckets outside. We learned a lot more about New Orleans (from the friendly security guard) because of the torrential downpour – plus it gave us one more night in my favourite place. I didn’t fool The Man with that bit of dallying at all.

The next morning I cried as we headed north and left the familiar cityscape of New Orleans behind. I’m not a big city person but there is something about New Orleans that gets in your blood. So many people call it a ‘cesspool’ – people who have never been there – people who will never go there and don’t know what it is really like. People base their opinions of New Orleans on stories about Mardi Gras, Bourbon Street and the history of violence related to the city. One should experience something before passing judgment on it. Few do however.

Being a Canadian who lives on the dry prairies of Alberta – a place that gets deadly cold in the long Canadian winters – we like to travel to the United States where it is warm. We have been fortunate to have long holidays because of The Man who usually accumulates lots of overtime and then takes it all at once. That way we can travel far and wide if we want. We have been to many of the different States in the US – and we have fallen in love with New Orleans for so many reasons I doubt I could explain them all and even do justice to the few I can put words to.

I’ll try with just a few though. Not only is it the combination of very old (The French Quarter) with the new - and the huge Mississippi that flows right through it - or Lake Pontchartrain – the immensity of it – or the swamps that surround the city with their own beauty. Mostly it is – The People. The people of New Orleans are wonderful. They are the friendliest people we have met anywhere in the United States. That says a lot. They are happy to talk to you and really appreciate you and your business. There are no ‘uhhuhs’ when you thank them for something – instead you get ‘Your Welcome’! In fact, you almost expect a hug from them! I don’t have enough words or the ability to describe them or their incredible city and its surroundings.

In this city that has experienced so much turmoil and angst – where the weather, the government, and their own countrymen have pounded them repeatedly – we didn’t feel like tourists at all. Instead we felt comfortable and safe and right at home. We never feared for our lives when we walked the streets late at night. We used common sense and never had one bad experience. Sure there are gangs killing one another – they are doing that in the beautiful city of Calgary an hour away from us. In fact, Calgary had the first death of 2009 in North America – aren’t we proud!

Suffice it to say – I didn’t want to come back home to my beautiful big blue barn.

We looked at other houses besides the million dollar mansion while in New Orleans. I still have one that I check on every week to see if it has sold. We drove past it one evening and I said to The Man – that place is empty and for sale! After many drive-bys we finally went online and checked it out. The next time we drove past it I hopped out of the car and looked in the windows. The Man was beside himself – ‘You’re trespassing!’ - but I had him looking in the windows too! When I opened the back gate and went to look at the pool and in the back windows – he fled to the car! He didn’t want to get booted out of the US for trespassing and break and entering (I didn’t break – it was not locked). However – being the great salesperson that I am – I enticed him back to the gate and into the backyard for a look at the pool and into the floor to ceiling windows that covered the back of the house. As we headed back to the car we noticed vehicle lights coming down the street. The Man jokingly said ‘Here comes security’. It was. As we casually drove away, the vehicle entered the driveway and the garage door went up. When we drove past again, lights were going on and off throughout the house – rooms obviously being checked. Who knows what sensor I tripped as I nosed around?

The Man and I are trying to figure out a way that we can live in New Orleans. Perhaps during the cold winters of Alberta – and still keep the big blue barn for the lovely (but short) spring, summer and fall of Alberta. Who knows? Someday we will follow our dream and have an adventure of a lifetime! I’m not too old for that and I never will be!

View Full Album

Sorry Folks!

My blogging is taking a back seat at the moment as we are smack-dab in the middle of whitewater rafting season.

With that in mind - I would like to direct you to my brother's new blog In Otter Words. David is posting about his days on the river - what the river is like - and also including some blog posts from his guides. He's just starting out - so pay him a visit.

When I get a few days at home again and I wring the water out of my brain - I'll be posting more frequently.

Until then - see you on the river!

A Roast by the Host With The Most

I'm really not one to toot my own horn - but I was interviewed by David McMahon of Authorblog.

Sunday Roast -

Have a look if you are interested.

Everyone Needs A Dream

The Man and I love New Orleans. That much is obvious isn’t it? During this trip to New Orleans we found ourselves saying the ‘what if’ words many times over. One night The Man pulled up real estate listings for New Orleans just for curiosity’s sake – and that was it. The dream had begun.

In December of 2008 there were 12 thousand houses for sale in New Orleans. 12 thousand! And those weren’t the ones that were For Sale By Owner. Where do you start looking when there is that many? The answer is – it’s hard not to look around without seeing a For Sale sign staring you in the face. So many people left during Katrina and its aftermath and didn’t come back. With all that went on who could blame them?

As we browsed the market we were attracted by an upcoming auction of the Spanish Custom House located on the Bayou St. John. Our handy-dandy GPS was pulled out with our camera and we were off.

I knew we had found the Custom House as soon as I saw it. The house has a certain majesty all of its own. The plaque on the front gate told us it was erected around 1784 – I was amazed.

We took tons of pictures as we walked around the fence line – pointing out areas on the outside of the house that would need repairs - trying to see as much as possible - trying to take it all in. My mind went off on its own little journey – imagining what it would be like to live in this house – what amount of work it needed. I saw so many opportunities as I stood staring through the gate while The Man wandered down to the bayou and took pictures.

The auction was going to take place after we returned to Alberta and I thought about catching a flight to come down just for that. The Man smiled and ruffled my hair when I suggested it to him.






I watched the news of New Orleans about the upcoming auction and was green with envy when they opened the house for a week of viewing prior to it. I managed to find a news story that showed a clip of people going around the house and I watched it repeatedly one day – my heart aching to be back there.

When the news came out that the house had auctioned off for over a million dollars – I smiled.

It was a lovely dream.

North Shore of Lake Pontchartrain

As we neared the end of our holiday in New Orleans we felt it was time to check out the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain. To do so we had to take the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway. The causeway is two parallel bridges over the lake, the longest span being the longest bridge in the world over water. It measures 23.87 miles or 38.42 kms. If you have the time, please read the link – it is quite interesting.





Driving onto the causeway gave me goose bumps. The sight of the bridge going off into the distance - and the water stretching out on both sides, made me feel like we were alone – suspended in watery space. It was an unusual feeling. I could well imagine what it would be like to drive over this bridge in the heavy fog that seemed to be a nightly occurrence in New Orleans.



The north shore of Lake Pontchartrain feels like affluent cottage country. We were astounded by the obvious wealth and the huge houses with their huge boats moored at their docks.

The contrast from the city of New Orleans to the North Shore was almost a culture shock. Don’t get me wrong – there were some sweet little houses nestled in the pines and they had obviously been there for a long time.










Somehow in our wanders we managed to drive down to the shore of the lake and we found a large parking area and a boat launch. As we ate our picnic, a couple strolled past our car and stopped short when they saw our license plate.

“Did you drive here from Alberta?” they asked.

Swallowing quickly we beamed and proudly explained our journey to them as the gentleman pointed out the hitch on our small car. (The Man drives a Volkswagen Golf – diesel – a small car with a lot of torque – enough to tow our little 13 foot trailer)

They then proceeded to tell us how the area we were standing in had been under 8 feet of water because of the last hurricane they had endured. They told us of the precautions they always took when a hurricane was coming such as parking their vehicle on high ground and tying their canoe to the front porch. That way they could paddle to their vehicle and drive for supplies and then get back home again.



I tried to imagine what this kind of life would be like. We had already been looking at houses and trying to figure out a way to live in New Orleans – but were we ready for such a change? We’re used to shoveling snow for most of the year!

As you look at these pictures – some of you who have seen the Brad Pitt movie – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button might recognise the lighthouse. Brad sailed right past this one in the movie. We were so excited when we recognised it as we sat in The Barn with the snow falling outside and the movie playing in front of us. It took us right back to the conversation with this couple and the day we spent on the North Shore of Lake Pontchartrain.