I know it may sound odd to some of you people who have come to know me as that 'nice aims' who writes about surviving a life of abuse and mental illness and about New Orleans - but I have another side to me that few of you will ever get to know and probably for a good reason.
Most people aren't going to get the chance to get on my wrong side. Those who have crossed the line with me have experienced what happens and those who haven't - well - if you want to remain on the other side ......
So let me get this out there. Because right now I have to.
Having been abused for far too long in my life - and for suffering mentally because of it - I now have a cut-off point. I can smile and smile for a long time - taking it on the chin as they say - taking it and putting it away for a rainy day. Then one day - and you never know when that day is going to happen - but one day I'm not going to take it anymore. Once I reach that point - then we're done as friends. Very rarely - and I do mean very rarely - do I acquiesce and take up the friendship again. In fact to do so I need plenty of proof that the line isn't going to be forced ever again if I am even going to consider doing so.
Now - people like me - well - we have this arrow over our heads that says - "kick here for much fun". For some reason - there are some people out there that see beneath the smile and see a form of weakness that they like to take advantage of and abuse. They like to think that they have reasons to do so - and that they are going to get away with it - because I hide what I am thinking behind a smile for a long time. I'll even let you get a few kicks in because I'm just like that. I do have that little weak area that is susceptible and like the weakling on the beach it is easy to kick sand in my face.
However - I'm only going to eat sand for so long from so many and then it's game over. I'm not playing anymore.
For those of you out there who think people like me are fun to bully around or even push around - watch out. We're not so fun on the flip side. We're not fun at all.
And once you cross the line with me - believe me - it's no-man's land.
Think about your actions before you take them. Some of us are tired of the abuse - the misuse - the taking for granted - for the uncaring attitudes. Some of us just aren't going to play anymore. And it's your loss - not mine.