Monday, April 7, 2008

Please Hold......

Just a small apology for not continuing on with the story as quickly as I usually do.

Writing this next post is far more difficult than I thought it was going to be - or maybe on some other level I did know and that is why I posted The Morgue first.

I spent a total of nine months on the psyche ward. I was let out for short periods after about month four, but I always ended up back in there. Life on the outside was just too hard for me.

However - I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I have to take my time writing this next post and the many to follow - so that I can say it in the proper words. There are far too many people out there who are depressed or suffering from some sort of mental illness. And they need to hear this part of my journey. Really hear it.

And for those of you who are lucky enough to have never suffered from this - I want to be able to take you there with my words so that you will be able to understand and empathize with those who suffer (often silently) with this terrible affliction.

Please be patient.

17 comments:

Amy said...

Nine months! Makes my husband's couple days of writhing in bed sound like a trifle, and that was no trifle. Glad you're sharing.

Sweet Irene said...

I am full of patience as I know first hand that the subject deserves it. I know that you need to find the owrds carefully and not scare anyone away at the same time. Good luck to you and thanks for doing such a great job so far.

Biddie said...

Take all of the time that you need. I'll keep coming back :)

Sweet Irene said...

Hi Aims, I have an award for you over at my place.

Carolyn said...

My head is swimming. I got Csilla to bed early tonight and finally had time to dive into "The Man" Tales.

I honestly don't have words to describe your talent as a writer and the anguish I feel reading your story. Anything I might say by way of "I'm sorry" for the pain it must take to re-live these memories would sound trite, so I'll just say - keep writing. It's an important story and I'm honoured that you are willing to share it with me, and others reading your blog. Congratulations for your bravery and your courage in telling it.

dawn said...

Oh, all right, if I have to be patient, I will, but I won't like it. I hope it goes well. Keep up the good work.

I Beatrice said...

Take all the time you need. I have never felt able to write about my own experience, so I admire your courage in tackling this question at all. Perhaps mine will creep into a work of fiction at some point - that being the way I work best.

One thing I have learnt though, is that it is not always the weak, or the damaged, who break down. The strong it often is who carry the burden for those who have the problems, but refuse to acknowledge them.

dND said...

Take all the time you need, I tried to write about my experiences too. As I told you, they were not as severe as yours but still I find that they are just a jumble of emotions that I can't, or won't, delve back into at the moment.

Depression, and it's after effects are very difficult to explain to someone who's not gone through it because the effect is all in the mind. While I would never want to go through it again, I find the understanding of me that I gained from it very rewarding.

So as we said, take your time, and don't force yourself to go where you are not ready to go.

Deborah

Mima said...

I think you are very brave to be writing about it at all, and if that takes a little time to do then so be it! I for one will happily wait for the next instalment.

softinthehead said...

Take your time, we are all here for you, waiting for the next step in your journey ......so no pressure :)

Daryl E said...

aims... this is totally off post topic but I want to thank you for your suggestions/recommendations for my back. We have a fabulous newish mattress and I do take care BUT the stress of the move and my own foolishness in packing/lifting during a very stressful time is IMO the cause .. nevertheless I am smart enough to learn from my mistakes and so I am and will be far more careful and try hard to not let the turkeys get me down!

Joy T. said...

No I'm sorry that's not going to work for me :o) Ok ok, take all the time you need. Your writing is well worth the wait!

dulwichmum said...

My poor darling friend...

CrazyCath said...

Just caught this post now - I will always be patient. This needs telling. In your own time Aims, in your own time.

I see the next one is up anyway by the time I got here (sorry - been busy this last couple days - have a look if you have time).
(((HUGS)))

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I know where you are coming from on this one. I'm with Sweet Irene on being paient ad leting you do justice to something that is hugely important to you. To do less would be to not do it and you justice. We'll be popping in to see how you are doing. Hugs

aims said...

I'm terribly sorry for not answering your kind comments.

Writing the first post caused me so much anguish that I entirely forgot to go back and answer as I always do.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Revisiting 'the bin' as I call it is harder than I thought it was going to be.

There is always the fear that my mind will lose its strength and I will end up back in there.

The other night I was watching Reign Over Me with Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle. When it came to the part where he was placed in a mental institution I burst into tears and wept for the rest of the evening. Just the thought alone.....

So thank you all for bearing with me as I struggle through this. And struggle I do.

Popkins said...

of course we'll all bear with you, oh great maker of words and teddy bears...do not do so would be a sin against humanity.

And yes, one never knows how bad depression and mental illness can be. It takes time to write about it. We understand.And you will tell it the right way as always.

P, S, and V