Tuesday, August 5, 2008

'The Man' Tales - We Get Another Night

The rest of that day was spent monitoring Cid’s oxygen levels and sharing the space beside him with his mother. Personally I was still having trouble with my life because of the mental breakdown, and dealing with antagonism was not something I could manage - so I tried to ignore the looks and comments that were coming from his mother.

When supper-time rolled around his mother again took over the kitchen and I changed the oxygen tanks while keeping an eye on his oxygen levels. His mother asked Cid where he got his new microwave oven and Cid told her that it had been a present from D and I. She stood looking at me while she wrapped potatoes in aluminum foil before she put them all in the microwave and turned them on. When they started arcing she screamed and ran out of the kitchen and Cid’s uncle raced in and flung open the door. Her claims that she didn’t know that would happen made me realize this woman really resented me. I knew she had owned a microwave for years. I bit my lip and busied myself in the bedroom for a bit.

Cid’s condo was really small. Too small for 4 people. The kitchen overlooked the living room which held a small table where we sat and ate. The one bedroom was taken up with a huge desk and queen-size bed. There was just room enough to edge around the bed if you wanted to get in. Everything could be heard in the whole condo when you used the bathroom. To escape I would go into the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed and look out the window. It was the only place for me to go and I would try to shut out the sound of them talking amongst themselves in Italian as I searched the view for something to quiet my mind.

I was sitting in there staring out at the streetlights when I heard Cid starting to gasp and choke. Racing into the living room I found him lying on the couch, unable to breathe.

“You have to sit up Cid,” I said as calmly as I could and I got his uncle to hoist him into a sitting position. I had a look at the oxygen tanks we had been supplied with and I somehow managed to link two of them together and I got Cid more oxygen than he had been getting. Then I gave him a nebulizer to inhale – even though it wasn’t time for one. In a few minutes his breathing returned to as normal as it could and I could see how exhausted he was from the ordeal.

“Thanks Aims. I think you just saved my life.”

I wrapped my arms around him gently and kissed his sweet lips. I wanted to tell him how much I didn’t want his life to be in my hands - and I couldn’t. I wanted to tell him that I wanted his life to go on forever and ever – far past mine – and I couldn’t. I wanted to tell him how precious his life was to me and how it had always been that way – and I couldn’t. All I could do was let a tear drop from my cheek onto his and rub it in.

That night I made Cid sit up in bed against as many pillows as we could find. I didn’t want another episode like that to happen in the middle of the night. I perched again on the foot of the bed and watched him as he slept.

It was a long night.


Daryl said...

I know that feeling of sitting watching ... its something I hope never repeats itself for either of us again.


softinthehead said...

Oh aims - you don't have much luck with mothers do you! :) It sounds such an ordeal - especially when you could express your feelings to Cid without an audience.

Stinking Billy said...

aims, baby, as per usual, storytelling par excellence. Why publishers are not already breaking down your door defeats me?

bichonpawz said...

Oh, aims, you are so strong. I don't know how you got through this. You are one very special person!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Now I see why you are so, so strong a person.

Anonymous said...

Your patience reached incredible levels with Cid's mother; a sign of a great love.

CJ xx

aims said...

Just a note here from me -

Please forgive my lack of commenting - I just can't do it at the moment.

Irene said...

Oh Aims, this situation is so bad for you. I wonder how in the world you managed it. All the while I am worrying about your emotional health. You have to be so strong and so brave and so patient.

Writing all of this down can't be easy. It's hard to relive your past. You take extra good care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Hi Aims, ooo la that sounds so bad all crushed together like that let alone with very PA behaviour from the Mother. Using language to exclude you sucks. Yet you were the one who was there doing the practical things like saving Cid's life. I can't see her thanking you for that. She sounds too twisted inside herself. I hope you were strong in such an awful situation. Just one situation alone is bad, let alone both and in your fragile state too. Not good.

BT said...

I experienced a hideous mother-in-law type person, she was so educated yet such a bitch. I was so thrilled to see you had written another entry, but how sad it has left me now. Like everyone else, I feel for you.



travelling, but not in love said...

Just goes to show the true value of friends. You're a great friend to Cid, Aims, as I'm sure you are to anyone luckily enough to call you a friend.

Lehners in France said...

My brother had to lean over his hospital table. It is one of my saddest memories. Not easy. Debs x

sexy said...