Why does love have to hurt so much?
Why does it have to be so fleeting?
Why does love make your heart cleave in half and fall apart? What do you do with that huge hole that is left?
Why does love strangle your brain with emotions that should never occur to anyone?
Who decided that this was love? Who decided that we are just marionettes in some master game? Who decided to taunt us with fleeting happiness? Who thought life should be something that is built up – then smashed when it is going good – then taunted with the hope of something in the future?
Why do I just want to lie down and give up one last breath and let go?
Why do I lie awake all night and stare through the dark at nothing?
Why are tears endless?
Why does everything I love get taken away when I have had so little in my life?
Am I a bad person? Did I do something to deserve this kind of hell on earth?
Why and who am I angry with or at? Me? God? Is there a God? If there is – why is he so cruel? Why is life so unfair?
Why put these angels here on earth only to take them away so quickly and so cruelly?
Why give us hearts at all if they are only toys to break at a whim?
Why do we do this?
What is death? Do we go somewhere afterwards? Do we wait somewhere on the other side of that horizon? Do we all get together afterwards and get to be happy forever? Is happy a true feeling? Is love?
WHY? DAMN IT! WHY?
Why does love hurt so much? Will the pain really ever go away?
Is this some kind of insane grieving or just some kind of insanity? (at this point I really don't know)
And do I really want to know the answer?